The Serene Socialist Republic of Socialist Soviet Armenia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Levon Ter-Petrossian with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 10.846 billion Armenians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gyumri. The average income tax rate is 98.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Armenian economy, worth a remarkable 4,791 trillion Armenian Ark Silver Drams a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 441,779 Armenian Ark Silver Drams, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Tom and Jerry cartoons have cat and mouse resolving their problems with reasoned discussion, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation, families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain, and the SSABI Channel Tunnel project is plagued by delays. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Socialist Soviet Armenia's national animal is the Hammerhead Shark, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Socialist Soviet Armenia is ranked 3,136^th in the world and 135^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 214 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.